On the day I die

On The Day I Die

On the day I die a lot will happen.
A lot will change.
The world will be busy.On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.
The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.
All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.
Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.
My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
They will feel a void.
They will feel cheated.
They will not feel ready.
They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.
Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day.
But before that day comes: let us live..

~ John Pavlovitz

On the day I die.

I feel it!

I feel it!

What do I feel?

I feel the movement of my soul talking to me.

About what you say?

Well, I am being gay, but not like homosexual, but like being happy.

Happy to be alive, saying nothing, but thinking a lot, and filled with everything.

Everything is beautiful, a song once said. I come not to tell of woes, nor to talk about folks, but to talk about the American spirit.

I am living the dream – the dream to be me, to be alive, to do whatever I want to do … so long as it doesn’t infringe on your FREEDOM.

Even in this time of the Patriot Act, we do have FREEDOM.

Just don’t say Al Qaeda, or Bin Laden, nor support them, or fly planes into BIG buildings, and you too can enjoy the FREEDOM.

That’s right, everything is beautiful, a song once said. I come not to tell of woes, nor to talk about folks – I come to talk about the American Spirit.

Yes, our ancestors came across the Atlantic, many in chains – many died, some say 20 million.

But in every pain, there is a gain. For every drought, we look forward to rain. Winter turns to Spring, and Summer to Fall.

Fall sometimes brings good harvest, and sometimes it don’t.

That’s right, everything is beautiful, a song once said. I come not to tell of woes, nor to talk about folks – I come to talk about the American Spirit.

©2008 GH Williamson Sr.